What to wear
What to wear to a funeral
Quiet, respectful clothes for the visitation, the service and the graveside.
The short answer
Wear conservative clothes in dark, muted colors: a dark suit with a tie, a dress or skirt that falls at or below the knee, or tailored trousers with a blouse and blazer. Black is traditional, but navy, charcoal and gray are just as respectful. Cover your shoulders, choose comfortable closed-toe shoes and follow any request from the family.
Usual dress code: Business formal
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Before you get dressed
Knowing what to wear to a funeral takes one worry off a hard day. The aim is to look respectful and blend in, so attention stays on the person being remembered and the family who loved them. For most American services, that means dark, understated clothes that cover more than they reveal. This guide covers the visitation or wake, the funeral service, the graveside burial and the reception afterward, with outfit formulas for every body type.
Customs differ between families, faiths and cultures. Some families ask guests to wear a favorite color or to skip black at a celebration of life. At many Hindu funerals, and in some East Asian traditions, white rather than black is the color of mourning. Some faiths ask guests to cover their heads, arms or legs, or to remove their shoes. When the obituary, the funeral home or the family offers guidance, follow it. If there's none, conservative dark clothing is the safe default.
Funeral: outfits for women
Choose a dark dress or skirt that reaches the knee or below, or a trouser suit, with sleeves or a jacket. Matte fabrics like wool crepe, ponte and jersey look calm and hold up through a long day. Keep jewelry small and shoes comfortable.
- A black or navy sheath dress with elbow sleeves, a tailored blazer, sheer tights and low block-heel pumps.
- Charcoal wide-leg trousers, a dark silk or crepe blouse, a long cardigan and leather loafers.
- A navy, charcoal or black pantsuit over a simple shell, with pointed flats that can handle a walk across the cemetery.
- Plus-size: a below-the-knee wrap dress in dark matte jersey, a longline cardigan and supportive block heels; the wrap stays comfortable through hours of sitting and standing.
- Petite: a dark A-line skirt that ends just below the knee, a fine-knit sweater tucked in and low pointed pumps to keep your line long.
- Cold weather: a charcoal sweater dress, opaque black tights, low-heeled knee boots and a dark wool coat you can keep on at the graveside.
Funeral: outfits for men
A dark suit, a white or light blue dress shirt and a subdued tie are the standard. If you don't own a suit, dark trousers with a navy or charcoal blazer and a tie are fine. Polish your shoes and match your belt to them.
- A navy or charcoal suit, a white dress shirt, a solid navy or dark gray tie and black cap-toe oxfords.
- A black suit, a white shirt and a black tie, the most traditional combination of all.
- No suit: charcoal dress trousers, a navy blazer, a light blue shirt, a dark tie and dark brown leather shoes.
- Big & tall: a dark two-button suit with a little room through the chest and shoulders, so you can sit, stand and hug people comfortably, plus a dark tie and polished derbies.
- Visitation or wake: dark wool trousers, a collared shirt and a dark sweater or sport coat, with the tie optional.
- Pallbearer: a dark suit with enough room to lift, a tie secured with a clip so it doesn't swing, and dress shoes with rubber soles for grass and steps.
Color
Colors to wear and to skip
Wear
Black, navy, charcoal, dark gray, deep brown and forest green all read as respectful. Muted jewel tones such as plum or burgundy work in a tie or scarf. If the family asks for a color, or their tradition calls for white, wear that instead.
Skip
Bright or neon colors, loud prints, sequins, metallics and anything sheer. They pull attention toward you and away from the family. Red is best skipped, since it signals celebration in many cultures, including Chinese traditions. Skip all-white too, unless the family's customs call for it.
The most flattering version of any color is the one that suits your own coloring. Find your color season to know which shades to wear near your face.
Details
Things to consider
Visitation or wake
Usually held at a funeral home or the family's house, often the evening before the service. Guests come and go, so you may stay only a short while. Dress as you would for the service; a sweater in place of a blazer is fine.
Graveside and weather
Burials happen outdoors in any weather. Thin heels sink into grass, so choose block heels, flats or dress shoes with grip. Bring a dark coat, an umbrella in black or navy, and sunglasses, which are fine outdoors.
Faith and culture
At a Sikh gurdwara, everyone covers their head and removes their shoes. At a mosque, women usually cover their hair and everyone dresses modestly. At many Jewish services, men are offered a kippah at the door. When shoes come off, wear clean, presentable socks or hosiery. If you're unsure, ask the funeral home.
Celebration of life
Families sometimes ask guests to wear bright colors, a team jersey or the person's favorite shade. Honor the request fully, and keep the rest of your outfit clean and put together so it still feels like a tribute.
Pallbearers and speakers
If you're carrying the casket, wear a dark suit you can move in and shoes with grip; the family or funeral home may provide gloves. If you're giving a eulogy, choose something you won't need to adjust at the podium.
Etiquette
Do's and don'ts
Do
- Check the obituary, invitation or funeral home website for a dress request.
- Choose shoes you can stand in for an hour or more.
- Keep tissues in a pocket or small bag so you're not searching for them during the service.
- Lint-roll your clothes and check for loose buttons the night before.
- Cover your shoulders and keep hems at or below the knee for a religious service.
Don't
- Don't wear anything that reads as a party outfit, such as cutouts, plunging necklines or very short hems.
- Don't wear stilettos to a graveside service.
- Don't wear jeans, athletic wear, flip-flops or slogan T-shirts unless the family invites casual dress.
- Don't wear strong perfume or cologne; you'll be close to grieving people in small rooms.
- Don't keep sunglasses on indoors.
Questions
Funeral outfit FAQ
Do you have to wear black to a funeral?
No. Black is traditional, but navy, charcoal, gray, dark brown and dark green are equally respectful in the US. What matters is a muted, conservative look. Some families request color, and at many Hindu funerals white is the mourning color, so follow any guidance from the family or the funeral home.
Can you wear jeans to a funeral?
Usually not. Jeans read as too casual for most funerals, even dark ones. The exceptions are a family that asks for casual dress, a relaxed celebration of life or a small rural service where jeans are the norm. If you truly have nothing else, pair clean dark jeans with a blazer and a collared shirt or blouse.
What do you wear to a wake or visitation?
Dark, conservative clothes that can be slightly more relaxed than the service: a dark dress, trousers with a sweater, or slacks with a collared shirt and sport coat. Many visitations don't require a tie. If the funeral follows right after, simply wear your service outfit.
What should you wear to a celebration of life?
Whatever the family asks for. If there's no request, dress as you would for a funeral but a little softer: muted colors, a knit dress or trousers with a cardigan, or chinos with a blazer. The tone can be lighter than a traditional funeral, but it's still a time to show respect, so skip anything flashy.
Can women wear pants to a funeral?
Yes. A dark pantsuit or tailored trousers with a blouse and blazer is as appropriate as a dress at almost any funeral. A few traditional congregations, including some Orthodox Jewish communities, expect women to wear skirts below the knee. If the service is at a place of worship you don't know, a quick call to the funeral home settles it.
What should you wear to a funeral in hot weather?
Breathable fabrics in dark colors. Try a lightweight crepe or linen-blend dress with sleeves, or a tropical-weight wool suit in navy or gray. A sleeveless dress works if you add a light cardigan for the service. At an outdoor burial, it's fine to take off your jacket once the family or officiant does.
Keep reading
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